• Leah

What I've been doing this week and dealing with mam guilt.

Hi Lovely

This post is a little different to my usual topic posts, I hope that's ok.

Mat surprised me with the most perfect pink reid bicycle a few weeks back as a (super) early Birthday present because its a big Birthday for me this year...30!

How gorgeous is she though?! She hasn't got a name yet ( Yes I love to name things, including plants, don't judge me) but I'm sure one will come to me soon enough.

I actually couldn't ride a bike but wanted one for soo long and the lovely Mat surprised me with the prettiest pink bike!

I can ride now its taken me a little while to adjust but now I'm away …sort of. Far to many friends have told me I am Phoebe Buffay and I'm more than ok with that haha.

Clients and orders have been quiet this week and I usually panic and start to stress but I've used this time to have some me time and also get a load of much needed housework completed. Its given me time to be in the garden and make things I don't usually have time to. I use dried fruits in my botanicals ritual sets ( they are coming back in stock soon I promise) so with this glorious weather I took full advantage and sliced up lemons and oranges and set them on a baking rack to air dry in the garden. They took 2 days and they look amazing, I always tend to bulk make them as I use them all the time in certain products and they look gorgeous in a jar on my dressing table.

How to make naturally Dried oranges
Naturally dried oranges

I'm so unfit and piled on the weight since lockdown! I want to keep using it as an excuse but the truth is I'm so unmotivated and lazy! Its the complete opposite to what I'm usually like and I'm finding with my health issues I'm really struggling to get going as I'm constantly exhausted. I'm lucky though that I have lovely friends who also own beautiful bikes so in the evenings or early mornings we've been going on a bike ride and I'm hooked! Yes it helps that we live in a beautiful area and the views are stunning, but more than that I don't realise how far I've gone so those thunder thighs of mine are getting a good workout haha.

We had a talk this week about even though we're having an hour or 2 to ourselves to exercise and blow off some much needed steam we can't help but get this overwhelming sense of guilt or " Mam guilt" I like to call it. Mostly all parents I speak to always say the same thing that they feel guilty for having some time to themselves or having their partner to watch the children makes them feel so guilty. Why are our brains programmed like this? It's madness! We run around for our children as parents constantly, whether its for afterschool clubs, sports, ballet, swimming, play dates. They're almost always on a weekend and never at a convenient time but we do these things for our children without thinking twice about it, so why do we feel guilty when we need time to exercise or be creative?

I could talk all day about this and why I feel its so important for you as a parent to be your own person too. Start small have that hour long bath with wine and netflix. Go on that bike ride. Buy that outfit for yourself. Go on more date nights. Find the person you was again before your world changed and you turned into a parent, because you're still allowed to be that person too she's still there.

Leah x

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